tag:umer-bajwa.blog.co.uk,2009-11-10:/MokoFeed2009-11-10T03:58:04+01:00tag:umer-bajwa.blog.co.uk,2007-01-24:/2007/01/24/greates_pain_in_life~1616806/#c2656947NejinOniwa2007-01-24T23:15:31+01:002007-01-24T23:15:31+01:00Seems you put some spirit in this one, nii-san. Still though, some things are slightly...off in this one.<br> Some tips.<br> 1: When writing deep stuff, use correct SPELLING and GRAMMAR or readers are likely to gouge their eyes out with a spork.<br> 2: What happened to the word structure, i wonder?<br> 3: Death is not the end of life. Death is when nobody remembers you, when your very existence - or lack of it - is lost in the hands of the careless humanity's minds.<br> <br> Not trying to give a "You suck!" or "Oh Horatio, where art thou?" impression here...but please - Deep poetry does NOT go together with slang. That combination equals Sporking Your Eyes Out. Wakatta?<br> <br> //Nei